Halo! Is it the silver screen you are looking for?
In grand tradition of being a startup blog; we have to gain access to what the big guys get handed to them by sorting through studio trash cans, cold calling reps, and searching the internet for every scrap of goodness we review for you, our dear reader. Today’s discovery was that the script for the highly anticipated Halo movie, and boy was I ever excited to get my grubby mits on the ever so delicate stack papers that contained the screenplay.
Video games have never been translated well into the silver screen. Movies like House of the Dead became over stylized and needlessly tied itself to the franchise, using every trick shot in the book to make it interesting (even using the 16 bit graphics of the game at the finale). Doom, barely represented the video game, trying to add plot to something that’s appeal was the novelty of a fun house. Just about every movie made from a video game has been a huge let down and has become a tarnish of the great franchises that have spawned them. Resident Evil, relies solely on zombie killing fun and the heaving breasts of Milla, but is still a shadow of the experience that made the games successful.
Which brings me to the difficult review of one of the best translations from game to film I have ever witnessed. I will do my best not to spoil the plot, if you are concerned I would turn back now, because I lied just now, and am going to spoil a lot of the plot. Ready?
It is based off the first halo game, with a little extras added, but if you played through the first game, prepare to relive it in all it’s spectacular glory. Penned by Alex Garland, the same guy who wrote the screenplay to horror film, 28 Days Later, and the soon to be Sci-Fi epic Sunshine. The script starts off with words that will make every digital artist on the planets dick rock hard to produce images for the masses to see.
I can’t type enough how well this script gives the reader an amazing walkthrough of the game. As I rapidly read each page, I could visualize seeing it in the theatre and I could hear the orgasms that all the fan boys and girls will have in their seats when the Master Chief does what every person who has played the game have done countless times. He even managed to make Master Chief believable as a person, way beyond just being a guy who kills like a Master Iron Chef cuts through butter.
My only hope is that those involved in the production stay away from over stylizing the combat scenes. The bullet time effect almost cheapens the action scenes these days as well as blinding cuts of action that flash by faster than we can comprehend as an audience member. Please make use of wide shots with the camera elegantly sweeping around the chaos of the battle. Make it beautiful, show it in a way we have never seen it before. Please don’t take a page from the Doom movie script and do an awkward first person POV, it didn’t work for that movie, and it sure as hell wont work for this one.
M.Hersted
Basically, I believe that the Halo movie should make sure to market solely to it’s main audience, that being vulgar, racist, sexxist, anti-social fourteen year olds. Master Chief should be played by Dane Cook, the Arbiter should be played by the Rock, and basically like the only female cast member should be played by the Hanna Montana girl, or that disney channel girl what with the nudie picks.
it’ll sell millions, unless of course all of the racist, sexist, anti-social fourteen year olds use their new fangled computerscopes and just download bootleg versions of the movie.