Hotlanta is the jam. Since I live here, I am probably a little biased yet the fact remains that if you come and visit this city, there is plenty of trouble to get into in a heartbeat. Most of the time when someone says something like that it’s taken in jest. “Oh sure, I know what you mean, man!” That type of thing. “You can get real drunk there, go to strip clubs, do drugs, blah, blah, blah”. Fuck that bullshit. I’m talking about REAL trouble. The fuckin run for your life, here come the cops type of shit. Please let me elaborate.

The other night the ol’ ball and chain wanted to go out (She loves it when I call her that). She used the kind of non-descript, “take me somewhere honey, I wanna drink” type of whine that girls are prone to do sometimes. It was a Wednesday night and I couldn’t think of an excuse not to go so, of course, I obliged. In any event, I was as hungry as a carnivorous platypus and, since there was nothing goin’ on, I thought a drink and some delicious eats would do me good. Well, we didn’t end up going to “Eats” (which is a cheap ATL staple, since forever, for food and it is delicious), but I did remember this one other delicious place called O’Terrils which is near Central Park where my friend used to live. Of course it’s an Irish pub, and they have good food like cranberry and turkey sandwiches, and all sorts of shit on rye bread. It is usually a pretty safe place to eat. As “safe” as anywhere near a Central Park (see MLK Dr.) and a methadone clinic, that is.

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Popularity: 9% [?]

The Kids of Widney High
July 12th, 2008
Northwest Film Forum
Seattle, Wa

I was recently on the Ipecac Recordings website looking through upcoming Melvins tourdates.  Ipecac is a label co-founded by Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Peeping Tom, etc)  and is home to projects for Hella drummer Zach Hill, Mickey “Dean Ween” Melchiondo’s band The Moistboyz, super heavy musical onslaughts from San Diego’s The Locust, and the Patton/Melvins side projects Fantomas and Tomahawk.  Scrolling down through the various Ipecac tour dates, I was shocked  and amazed to see listings for a handy capable vocal group known as The Kids of Widney High.  They were coming to Seattle and it was only two days away.

Widney High is a Los Angeles based High School catering to special needs children from the ages of 13 to 22.  The Kids of Widney High is a group of disabled prodigees and recording artists which stemmed from a songwriting class at the school.  In 1989, after teacher Michael Monagan helped the students create and arrange their own music, the kids released their first original album called Special Music From Special Kids on Rounder Records, which included liner notes from both Smokey Robinson and Tiffany.  It had to have been around 1995 or so when I finally first heard the album and I was immediately sucked in.  At the time I was already beginning my infatuation with the late great Wesley Willis, and the energy and enthusiasm behind the music fit right into my scope of interest at the time.  The first track off of the album, titled New Car, had notes of Rain Man as former student Robert Ross sang about the glory of having a new car in his garage.  “I wash the windows, I vacuum the floors.  I wash the motor, I dry the doors.“  The song Insects warned, “Bees will sting you very hard, all over your body. Bugs are in the trees and they’re watching you” and the song Throw away the Trash discouraged littering wih lyrics like, “I wanna feel proud about my clean school,  If someone throws trash ‘I pity the fool!!’ “.  These songs and their catchy ass hooks have been stuck in my mind for the better part of the last decade and a half. (more…)

Popularity: 6% [?]

Rock Paper Scissors.  It will make you or rape you.  Me and my fiance tend to resolve a lot of our split decisions with a simple game of Roshambo.  “Who’s car should we take?“  “What restaurant should we eat at?“  “Should we stay for another drink or go home and go to bed?“  Simple conflict resolution.  Take my advise people: Don’t wager on a game of Roshambo and, if you do, be prepared to face the consequences.

About a month ago, my fiance and I were on a nice walk on the Burke-Gilman Trail by a canal in the Fremont district of Seattle.  We were discussing the fact that I seem to be subjected to these cheesy Sandra Bullock / Jennifer Aniston, wedding and love story “chick flicks” more and more but that I can’t get her to watch any ass-kicking/horror “man movies“.  I’d had enough.  I swear to god men, if you don’t  balance your masculine and feminine entertainment, you will start to menstruate every month.  You might be telling yourself, “Whatever man!  I’m no bitch!“  but, when you find yourself snuggled up on the couch with a bottle of wine and a chocolate bar watching Project Runway, you’re beginning the transformation.  Go to the corner store, buy a couple of 40oz high gravity malt liquors, get loaded, and beat the shit out of something fast!

So, we decide to make a fair wager.  If I win, she has to see a horror movie and, if she wins, I have to go with her to see Sex and the City.  Well my friend, I wouldn’t be writing this article if I had won, so I’m in the position of settling up with a Sex and the City evening of magic and wonder. (more…)

Popularity: 6% [?]